Republicans tried to ram through a bunch of dumb shit, really expensive dumb shit, really irresponsible dangerously dumb shit, through reconciliation, when they were in office. So dumb, in fact, that the parliamentarian balked. So they fired the guy and replaced him with the new guy they have now. And now that it’s the Democrats trying to ram through some good shit through, they’re not waiting to discover the outcome. They’re already salting the well with ominous character bashing, just in case they don’t like it. The one thing you don’t ever want to do is trust a Republican. Or believe their smile. Or shake their hand. They’re an oily reptilian group of turbo-charged inbred badgers.
And they’ve taken crazy desperation to an art form.
Some have asked why they’re taking such a loud braying shrill stand against reforming a completely fucked up system (but the doctors are great!) that will break our wallets and the national economy if it isn’t fixed…when, you know, it just might work. It just might help people and bring down costs and actually do the things Obama says it will. Will Republicans feel shame? Will they feel like fools? To which I answer NO! Of course not! Think about it. It’s been less than two years since Republicans finished up one of the countries’ most consistent runs of dumb shit ever. It’s right up there with the Celtics 8-year championship run, but, you know, bad. It’s an unheralded streak of relentless foolishness and irresponsibility. And they are not only showing no shame for their culpability in our contemporary culture of HOLY CREEPING GOAT SHIT!!! Where doom lurks around every corner and our bank accounts shrink by the day.
Instead, they stand proud. As what? Our Defenders! They’re trying to use the Jedi Mind trick on us; hoping to convince us that all that we’ve seen and heard and smelled (bullshit) for the last decade, in fact, never happened. So, if, in ten years, our premiums have gone down, the deficit starts shrinking, and the economy rights itself, don’t expect them to hang their heads and hold a press conference filled with mea culpas. No, they will, with a straight face, stand proud and take credit for it. Because that’s what they’ve always done. They take credit for all the good shit they try so hard to stop, and blame all the toxic stupidity they actually do accomplish, on the Democrats. You have to go back a long time to find a Democrat who wasn’t elected to fix a Republican mess. Republicans get elected because they used to be movie stars or they wear cowboy boots or they seem fun to drink with; Democrats get elected when Republicans get things so out of whack that a Democrat can win.
Since Republicans have already forgotten how hapless and useless they are, it’s our job not to. If in two or six years Republicans find some former rodeo star who can lasso and wears boots and has crazy well-crafted hair and a cool swagger – with a brain the size of a walnut, it’s our job to vote for the responsible smart geek on the other side.
Even if they’re boring!
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